What to do When Stuck in a Horror Movie

What to do When Stuck in a Horror Movie

*I don’t remember where I first heard this, but I know there are some people who’ve already written about this. This is just what I think. (Hahaha.)

When lost in an uncharted road, it’s best to go back the way you came from. It’s also best if you don’t go exploring abandoned churches, shacks, and the like.

When stranded during a storm, it’s best to stay in your car than go into that creepy house on top of the hill. Unless you’re alone and there’s a serial killer inside your car... Then it’s best to give up.

When trapped inside an eerie house, there’s going to be a door with weird noises behind it. Don’t open it.

When confronted by the handiwork of the killer, i.e. dead bodies on pegs, don’t scream. You really don’t want to get added to the macabre collection.

When being chased by a murderer with a chain saw/ extremely long knife/ various other murdering weapons, hide. Also, don’t come out when you think the coast is clear. It never is.

When being chased through long and winding corridors, don’t get confused. Make like Hansel and Gretel and take note of markers. Also, if everything becomes extremely quiet and the creepy music stops, it’s probably your turn to die.

During group outings where things go sour, there’s always an annoying twerp that’s going to be present. Don’t push him/her over any cliffs just yet; he/she might be the one who’ll save you in the end.

When being chased by bloodthirsty zombies, it’s best to run and never look back. Also, that neighbor you’re going to recognize is going to kill you, so don’t feel any sympathy. In most movies, the zombies’ weak point is the brain, so it’s best to aim there.

When in a hospital where the lights flicker on and off, and where strange music drifts out of deserted rooms, just leave.

If you happen to have Sarah Michelle Gellar in the cast, stick with her. You know she’s going to make it to the end.

When in Ancient Egypt, please don’t read the Big Black Book. Or prevent anyone from reading it. It’s called Book of the Dead for a very good reason you know.

In the event that the book is read, take the first flight out. You really don’t want to be around when the plagues of Egypt start again.

When dealing with the supernatural, such as Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees, it’s best to learn what you can about them. It’s probably the only way you can kill them.

When dealing with evil children, i.e. The Children of the Corn, it’s best to just give up. The smaller the kids, the more evil they are. Also, you’re trapped in their town where they killed all the other adults... What makes you think you’ll survive? If you’re a kid, then pretend to be one of them. Just rub your eyes ‘til they’re red and pretend that you’re as demented as they are.

When trapped in a ship where the occupants have died, it’s safe to assume that it’s teeming with ghosts. Also, since you’re in the middle of the sea, you’re probably going to die unless you’re the lead character.

When making a documentary, it’s best to actually know what you’re doing. You know the woods rumored to be inhabited by an evil witch? Don’t go.

In the event that you survive the first movie, don’t do the sequel. 90% of first horror movie survivors get killed in the second one. :)