Friday the Thirteenth, February Fourteenth

Excerpts from two of the books I’m reading. (Yes I read based on my mood.)

“The great adventure of our lives. What does it mean to die when you can live until the end of the world? And what is ‘the end of the world’ except a phrase, because who knows even what is the world itself? I had now lived in two centuries, seen the illusions of one utterly shattered by the other, been eternally young and eternally ancient, possessing no illusions, living moment to moment in a way that made me picture a silver clock ticking in a void: the painted face, the delicately carved hands looked upon by no one, looking out at no one, illuminated by a light which was not a light, like the light by which God made the world before He had made light. Ticking, ticking, ticking, the precision of the clock, in a room as vast as the universe.”
--- Louis (Anne Rice, Interview with the Vampire)

“There are two kinds of visual memory: one when you skillfully recreate an image in the laboratory of your mind, with your eyes open (and then I see Annabel in such general terms as:
"honey-colored skin,"
"thick arms,"
"brown bobbed hair,"
"long lashes,"
"big bright mouth"); and the other when you instantly evoke, with shut eyes, on the dark inner side of your eyelids, the objective, absolutely optical replica of a beloved face, a little ghost in natural colors (and this is how I see Lolita).”
--- Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

Friday the Thirteenth

I don’t want to spend too much space on retelling my day, so I’ll stick with the highlights.

---Lost a Scrabble game. Another Scrabble game, I should say.
---Our professor in Pan Pil 12 didn’t show up; turned out he wasn’t boycotting us (this time) ---because he was also absent from the other class.
---Failed a Math long test. Again. Ugh. Math is NOT a four letter word, people. I know being bad at Math doesn’t automatically make me dumb, (or does it?) but it’s just so annoying that I can’t get it right.
---Inducted a new member into the “SINGLE CIVIL STATUS FOREVER MOVEMENT:” Demi. Founder: me. Members: Katrina, Demi, and Kim. (Kim, you are in, right?) Finding members for this kind of group is not such an easy feat. It takes a certain ideological orientation. :))
---Lent Demi five books (Crichton, Brown, Sheldon, Deaver, Grisham), you know, basic bestsellers. So she can get out of the Twilight phase her peers over in PUP have led her into.
---Spilled hot gravy over my left hand, courtesy of a loosely capped thermos. HOMO ERRONEOUS.
---Got scolded at by my parents for failing Math. Doesn’t even matter that I got a 99 over 103 in Pol Sci, does it? (91, technically, since there were 8 bonus points: 5 for perfect attendance, 2 for corrections, and 1 for 3 political rights. I LOVE MY PROFESSOR :D )
---Saw a very dead person on the sidewalk. Not kidding. His body was positioned at an angle which suggested he either jumped, or was flung toward said sidewalk by a speeding car. Because normal spines don’t form shapes like that. (This was on the road between Shangri-la and Starmall).

February Fourteenth (or, Why I Don’t Like Valentine’s Day)

I’ll also try to keep this as short as possible.

“St. Valentine’s Day — a day to declare your affection for that special someone.

And what did Saint Valentine have to do with love notes and affection? Absolutely nothing! In fact, there’s a good chance he may never have existed.” (Brown P. Origin of Valentine’s Day may surprise us. The Enid News & Eagle, Enid OK, Published: January 16, 2008)

I am not a hopeless romantic. More accurately, I am not a romantic at all. When most people go “awww” I go “ewww,” and when they go “ewww” I go “bwahahaha!!!”

I think fairy tales are the worst expression of patriarchy, “Prince” should never be used in conjunction with “Charming,” and romantic comedies are a waste of resources.

I cannot utter the word “love” allowed without cringing, and I’d rather watch paint peel than read a romance novel.

I am also not the best person to discuss Valentine’s Day.

But since everybody is celebrating/ stressing over it, I thought I should at least contribute to the discourses.

So what do I think about Valentine’s Day?

It’s a highly commercialized holiday (which begs the question “Which holiday isn’t?”) with roots that have absolutely nothing to do with the inane romantic nonsense that people today associate it with.

Valentine’s Day is said to be rooted in the Roman festival Lupercalia, celebrated in honor of Lupa, the she-wolf who suckled the infant orphans Romulus and Remus. Romulus and Remus are said to be the founders of Rome. (Lupercalia literally means “Wolf Festival.”)

During Lupercalia, in honor of Juno Februata, the names of young women were put into a box and names were drawn by lot. The boys and girls who were matched would be considered partners for the year, which began in March. Yes, that means partners they’re supposed to be making babies with. You have to give the Romans props for creativity.

If you’re going to argue that the “names drawn by lot” that they did to pick their sexual partners was the “romantic” part, just picture yourself in that setting. Yes, veeeery romantic.

To Christianize this (in their eyes) decidedly pagan ritual, the church officials changed the name to St. Valentine’s Day, and replaced drawing the girls’ names with drawing saints’ names. No, they don’t make babies with the saints. They emulate the life of the saint they get. Nifty, huh? Unfortunately, this didn’t work and fell out of practice soon after.

“SAINT, n., a dead sinner revised and edited.” –Ambrose Bierce

Another proposed provenance of V Day is the story that Europeans believed that on February 14th the birds began to choose their mates. “The tradition of birds choosing their mates on St. Valentine's Day led to the idea that boys and girls would do the same. Now when a youth drew a girl's name, he wore it on his sleeve, and attended and protected her during the following year. This made the girl his valentine and they exchanged love tokens throughout the year. This practice had many alterations and changes through the years.”

Let’s go to Saint Valentine, and just why he’s supposed to be a hopeless romantic.

“Until 1969, the Catholic Church formally recognized eleven Valentine's Days. The Valentines honored on February 14 are Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni. Valentine of Rome was a priest in Rome who suffered martyrdom about AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. Valentine of Terni became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) about AD 197 and is said to have been killed during the persecution of Emperor Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome.

No romantic elements are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the fourteenth century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost.” (Wikipedia)

“St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II in person. Claudius was impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his life. Valentine refused and tried to convert Claudius to Christianity instead. Because of this, he was executed. Before his execution, he is reported to have performed a miracle by healing the blind daughter of his jailer.” (Legenda Aurea)

There. That’s probably the part people found romantic.

Fast forward to why Valentine’s Day is as eerily cheesy as it is today.

“The reinvention of Saint Valentine's Day in the 1840s has been traced by Leigh Eric Schmidt. As a writer in Graham's American Monthly observed in 1849, "Saint Valentine's Day... is becoming, nay it has become, a national holyday."[28] In the United States, the first mass-produced valentines of embossed paper lace were produced and sold shortly after 1847 by Esther Howland (1828-1904) of Worcester, Massachusetts. Her father operated a large book and stationery store, but Howland took her inspiration from an English valentine she had received, so clearly the practice of sending Valentine's cards had existed in England before it became popular in North America. The English practice of sending Valentine's cards appears in Elizabeth Gaskell's Mr. Harrison's Confessions (published 1851).”

But that’s not all. Do you know why the world (well, the capitalists, at least) cannot afford to disillusion the populace about the truth regarding Valentine’s Day?

It’s an industry in itself.

“110 million roses, the majority red, will be sold and delivered within a three-day time period.
California produces 60 percent of American roses, but the vast number sold on Valentine's Day in the United States are imported, mostly from South America.
15% of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day.
About 1 billion Valentine's Day cards are exchanged each year. That's the largest seasonal card-sending occasion of the year, next to Christmas.
One-third of all Valentine cards are accompanied by gifts.
Romantic cards are the best-sellers. Victorian era-influenced cards are prominent this year.
More than 50 percent of cards are sold the week of the holiday, with the largest and most elaborate Valentine cards sold 48 hours before February 14.
70 percent of those celebrating the holiday give a card, followed by a telephone call (49 percent), gift (48 percent), special dinner (37 percent), candy (33 percent) restaurant meal (30 percent), and flowers (19 percent).
Teachers will receive the most Valentine's Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, and then, sweethearts. Children ages 6 to 10 exchange more than 650 million Valentine's cards with teachers, classmates, and family members
Hallmark has over 1330 different cards specifically for Valentine's Day.
Conversation Hearts: In 1866, candy manufacturer NECCO made the first "Conversation Hearts." According to NECCO, eight billion of these little candies are sold between January 1 and February 14.
More than 35 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolate will be sold for Valentine's Day.”

Translation: Moneeeeeeeeeeeey.

Now really, think of how much people would lose in stocks if people suddenly refused to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Oh those poor, poor capitalists. Oh the irony.

I refuse to celebrate “Valentine’s Day” because:

--- It brings about increased levels of insecurity and insanity in single people who actually care about these so-called relationships. These people’s friends *cough, cough* then receive their wailing calls, bottled tears and uber irritating text messages about looove. Which then makes the said friends throw their communication devices against the wall in disgust. Then, when said devices break, they will have to buy new ones. Which obviously sucks for these friends.
---It brings about the worst of the sexual binaries. Seriously. Some people *cough, cough* become prone to shuddering and are forced to suppress their gag reflexes when they hear female peers talking about what they “expect.”
---People who do not conform to the couples-are-happy-singles-are-sad trend are thought to be abnormal. Which some people don’t mind, since they are almost, but not quite, entirely unlike “abnormal.” But it would be nice if stereotypically-minded people opened their eyes for once.
---Genuine sentiments are reduced to cute little sayings on Hallmark cards; efforts are based on how much gifts cost, and normal relationships are incited to fast-forward in time for this non-legitimate holiday. “V Day deprives people of their fundamental right to choose when to express their feelings.” (Jessica Zafra)
---For a lot of people, V Day means sex, and sex (unprotected, that is) means an exponential growth in population. More hotel and motel profit, definitely. RH Bill much? I don’t care what your bible says, I care about practicality.
---Relationships are (or so I’ve observed) incredibly complicated fragile things with many stages, such as denial, anger, fear, bargaining, acceptance—okay, so those are the stages of death. But V Day introduces a new factor into the equation, which makes even the well-adjusted among us unleash their inner neuroses.
---PDA alert!!! So much pheromones being made during the days leading up to V Day! I don’t know how many couples I saw HHWW. Or HHWD -- driving. Or HHWE—eating. Or HHWR—reading. Or... you get the idea. (Top tip from Nat Geo: drink an anti-depressant like Prozac so your dopamine levels return to normal. It dampens the sex drive and dulls the libido.)
---Traffic. Road traffic, network traffic, etcetera traffic. I don’t even know how to explain why lines are quadrupled and public transportation becomes more of a hassle than usual.
---I further capitalism enough as it is.
---So. Many. Hearts. On the windows, on the walls, on people’s clothes... The “heart,” as far as I know, is a gross looking pump whose arteries get clogged from fat. Not a cute little shape THAT IS EVERYWHERE.

Me: We had to hold little plastic hearts during the Sharon taping...
R: Really? So what was it like coming in contact with a heart for the very first time?

Touché.

--- And my main reason: I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT. I have made a resolution since last year to not celebrate/observe anything I don’t understand. Because that’s pretty irrational. “Let’s observe Ash Wednesday.” “Why?” “Because the church said so.” Okaaay. And V Day is one of those “celebrations” I just don’t get. Like Christmas—but that’s another story for another time. (P.S. The V Day reason “it’s a celebration of love” doesn’t work because you can celebrate love everyday, as opposed to, say, celebrating your birthday, or Easter Sunday everyday. Argument: if you celebrate something everyday, then it isn’t very special anymore. Counter argument: Whatever happened to “love will never run out,” and “infinite love,” and “I will always love you”? Why not celebrate it everyday instead of concentrating all your efforts in a single day? It’s like, celebrate on February 14 and you can be insensitive for the rest of the year... You had a great V Day anyway. That’s also like saying, “Let’s celebrate Independence Day on one day by wearing the Philippine flag, so to speak, and be Brown Americans for the rest of the 364 days—It won’t matter, we had a great Independence Day.”)
---People who then proceed to talk about the foolish qualities involved with V Day are declared bitter and loveless. As for me... Bitter, no. Loveless, yes. It’s either biological or psychological: either I can’t sustain the levels of dopamine needed and my serotonin level cannot leave ‘normal’, or I’m just too wrapped up in myself to notice anything else. See, the mantra is: unless everything in my life is up to par, I have no business meddling in others’.

I’m not about to coerce anyone into not celebrating this event, since that is purely your prerogative. (Aaand you can file a case against me in court if I did. A human rights violation case is not easy to talk yourself out of.)

So. Have a joyous celebration of the Roman (pagan) holiday of Lupercalia, and/or the mating season of birds, and/or St. Valentine of Rome/Terni’s feast day.

Why so many people want to celebrate a she-wolf, the founding of Rome, avian practices, and saints that have nothing to do with romance as "heart's day" is way beyond me.