sometimes being neurotic sucks

well, first off, the junior-senior promenade was a blast. (define blast? as usual there is more than one meaning to a word. blast as in great gig slash party; blast as in "in your face" mucho grande explosion of things unmentionable. i adapt the latter definition.)

it was good for everyone else except yours truly.

at the beginning of the whole thing, i forgot about the things that were bothering me. (translation: i danced like crazy.) then, towards the end, everything came rushing back which sent me to wallow in my thoughts while couples were slow dancing to christian bautista. (read: everybody else was dancing with someone except moi. oh, and D was with me. she was on paparazzi mode that night, due to lack of social life, with which i was also suffering from. at the very least D was invited to a prom the following sunday, so i'd say it's safe to conclude that even the encyclopedia girl had a better social calendar.) there is something unnerving about pairs slow dancing when you have no one to slow dance with. (and i mean almost everyone but me and D. come on, that was one of the lowest points in my 16-year life. seriously. that was one crazy moment where i felt like karma was creeping up on me.)

to give you a more accurate visualization: if you've ever seen one tree hill, then think Brooke Davis in the blood red dress waiting, albeit hopelessly, for Lucas Scott by the stone fountain. or... if you've ever seen gossip girl, then think Serena van der Woodsen gazing at her best friend Blair Waldorf slow dancing with Nate *forgot surname.* in summary, i was the girl in the red dress and silver high heels, twirling her curled black hair, pretending to be unaffected by all the sweet comings and goings of everyone else.

while christian bautista was belting out the notes in "color everywhere," my head was supplying my very own soundtrack of the prom night. the song? vindicated, by dashboard confessional. don't even ask why, since even i have absolutely no idea, although the lines, "hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption, windind in winding out," may be clues to it. so anyway, by the end of the night, i felt like the prom was a social event enjoyable for social people and disturbing for disturbed people like me. it was also quite irritating, since i was one of the last to go home; a result of my mom's lateness and the lack of taxis at twelve a.m... it didn't help that i was left on my own by virtually everyone, since they went to their respective after-party parties.

oh well, let's face it. sometimes being neurotic sucks.